I'm coming
by Pinkcatsinspace
Summary: After Robin left the town, the Queens of Darkness battled it out with Regina and it pushed her to the edge. Life took it's toll on Regina and caused self destructive tendancies. Her final and only salvation is her soul mate. Inspired by Tove Lo's, Habits. (Stay High), trigger warning for depression, self harm and suicide. Rated T for swearing. Outlaw Queen.
1. Chapter 1

**Sup,**

**Sorry i had to re-upload, this bloody website was giving me problems.**

**So i'm currently addicted to Tove Lo's, Habits (Stay High), yes old song i know but that's not the point the point is that i thought i would want to show a rawer and more vulnerable side of Regina to the extent that we've never seen on screen, and this song inspired me. **

**WARNING, SELF HARM AND SUICIDAL MENTIONS PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO SUCH ISSUES!**

**Life is a highway should be updated next week, maybe on Christmas or something. **

**Enjoy!**

I'm coming:

Regina's eyes shot open, she sat up in her bed. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

It was two days since the queens of darkness left town and Regina had sudden relapses of nightmares about her days as the evil queen.

"Just a nightmare, just another fucking nightmare." She whispered to herself.

It was a good year since the Hoods crossed the town line, anyone would've moved on at this point, but not Regina.

It wasn't like losing just another boyfriend, it was like losing a part of herself.

The ghost of Robin's lips haunted her day after day, the wind that passed through her empty and cold hands that once held onto his served as a cruel reminder of what she lost that day at the town line.

"All because of a fucking ice cream lady," Regina thought sardonically.

She put one leg on the floor and felt glass. Oh right, she was drinking as usual. Nights alone meant that Regina drank more, when Henry was at the un-Charmings.

Henry had tried all means and ways to bring his mother back to her senses, but all she did was send him away, he didn't need to see her self destruct. She told him to go to Emma and she would tell him when she was ready.

Which would be never. But he didn't need to know that.

She closed off from everyone else, she knew she wasn't going to make it. No one would notice if she was gone anyway. Only when they needed her help did they remember her name.

She turned her head to face the digital clock at her night stand, 3.30 am it read.

"Fucking hell," she cussed.

She used her legs to shove some of the beer bottles aside and padded towards the bathroom.

She went to the bathroom and popped some cleverly concealed anti-depression pills she had threatened Archie to give.

Closing the cabinet stocked full of pills, she decided against trying to sleep again and wanted to go for a smoke, yet another one of her coping mechanisms.

She walked to her desk and made out a silhouette in the darkness on her bed. She nearly forgot that Will Scarlett had slept with her that night, when she was at Granny's drinking and he tried to talk her out of it. It got heated and they ended up in her bed.

"Hey, Scarlett, Will, William, hey!"

She slapped him on the face and he woke up.

"What the hell..." He mumbled groggily.

"You either get out of my house or you follow me for a smoke,"

He sat up on the bed and replied,

"Looks like I'm gonna get me a cigarette."

So the two went out to her front porch and smoked on a pack of Regina's organic cigarettes.

"Being organic doesn't make them any healthier y'know m'lady."

"Don't call me that," said Regina.

"Fine, but don't you see you're ruining your life? Robin wouldn't want that now would he?"

"I'm beginning to question why I gave you a cigarette in the first place if it meant an impromptu therapy session."

"Robin asked me to keep an eye out for you Miss Mills. You don't even eat properly anymore, you're destroying your body. You might as well be as good as dead."

"Well, you're here, you've just fucked me and now, you're smoking with me. So I don't think you're doing a very fantastic job of keeping an eye out for me. Besides, maybe I want to die."

Will Scarlett got up and extinguished his cigarette,

"Y'know Miss Mills,"

"Regina is fine,"

"Alright, Regina, doing all of this isn't going to bring Robin back."

"I've already accepted the fact that he's not coming back, this is how I cope."

"Well, maybe you don't have to cope. Maybe he will come back."

"Shut the fuck up and leave and never speak of this night to anyone or I can turn you into a flying monkey with a flick of my wrist."

Will Scarlett looked down at Regina's bandaged wrist and raised an eyebrow. She flipped her middle finger at him in return.

"The Merry Men always got your back Regina, even if you don't want our help."

Will Scarlett grabbed his jacket and walked towards the gate.

"At least throw your damn cigarette outside asshole!" She yelled.

Will ignored her and continued walking.

"I need another drink," she thought and pushed herself up to get a bottle of bourbon.

New York,

Robin had returned home late from work as a courier, it was nearing Christmas and a high influx of deliveries meant later nights for him.

Roland was at home watching a cartoon and eating a bowl of cereal while the housekeeper cleaned up the house.

"Marie! I'm home!" Called out Robin.

"Mr Hood! I'm in the kitchen!"

Robin saw that his son was immersed in the Avengers cartoon on TV and decided he would greet him later.

"Hello Marie,"

"Hello Mr Hood, how was work today?"

"Very busy, how's Roland?"

"He is a very good boy, although he always refuses to eat his vegetables."

"Like father, like son," he said.

She chuckled and pat him on the back.

"I know losing your wife could not have been easy, how are you holding up?"

"I'm okay Marie, no need to ask me every night."

"I am just looking out for you, and also for the woman in the picture frame at your bedside every night."

Robin smiled sadly at the thought of what he left behind the town line.

"She means a lot to you, doesn't she? You stare at her picture every night before you sleep."

"She's my world, my soulmate."

"Where is she?"

"Lost, it's a complicated predicament."

"I see. I shall finish up the laundry and go home."

"Alright, thank you Marie. I will see you tomorrow."

"No need to thank me, you pay me well after all."

Robin smiled slightly and went back to his son.

"Roland!"

"Papa!" Roland yelled.

Roland hopped onto Robin's lap and started rambling about his day at school. Robin's only thoughts were of how it would be so much better if Regina was by his side.

Back in Storybrooke,

Regina was using her magic to clear up the mess in her house when there was rapid knocking on her door.

She opened it to see Tink standing at her door with the widest grin on her face.

"Regina!"

"Tink, please don't shout and it's far too early for hope rally of the day."

"It's not a hope rally! It's a miracle! We found him!"

"Found who now?"

"The author!"

Regina rolled her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose,

"You know this is the third time you've told me that, and the first two times were loonies who thought that you, Henry and Emma were looking for mystery book writers."

"Not this time! It's for real, he just went over the town line and he's going to find Robin."

"Tink, I'm not sober enough for this, I gave up on operation Mongoose two months ago, so please, stop wasting your life on this or on the impossible, my happy ending. Have a great day,"

Before Tink could open her mouth, Regina already closed the door and went to pop more pills.

"Fucking crazy blondes," she muttered to herself.

New York,

Robin took the day off to bring Roland Christmas shopping.

They had just gotten home from a long day of shopping and Santa lap sitting (in the most non sexual way i mean)

Robin was preparing dinner (he had learned some pretty decent recipes from Maria) when he heard rapid knocking on the door.

"Papa! Are we expecting someone?"

"Not that I know of son, sit tight my boy, I'll get it."

Roland continued piecing his toy train as Robin walked towards the door.

He opened the door to meet a bespectacled man with a extensive white beard.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"Robin, Robin Hood?"

"How do you know me?"

"Because I know all, just like your son, Roland, your deceased maiden, Marian, and the one that has your heart, Regina Mills."

"Who are you?" Robin was starting to feel a little freaked out.

"Easy there Robin of Locksley, I come with no intentions of harm."

"Why are you here?"

"Because Regina Mills was...wrongly written, I have made a grave mistake, and I am here to amend it."

By now, Robin had a pretty good idea of who this guy was.

"You're the auth..."

"That's right, I am here to bring you back to Storybrooke." He interjected.

Robin took a deep breath and feverishly replied,

"When can we leave?"

"How about now?"

The author snapped his fingers and Robin and Roland were transported to just before the town line.

The author appeared next to them, grinning.

"Why are we here Papa?" Asked Roland.

"We are going to see your Gina again."

"GINA?!" He yelled out into the distance.

"Not now son, we're going to surprise her."

"Oh..." He replied.

The author sprinkled some dust into the distance and the once invisible Storybrooke magically appeared to them again.

"Thank you so much, mr Author."

"Just call me Mickey," he said beaming.

Robin had this wide grin on his face as he looked back at Storybrooke.

"What about our belongings?"

"Oh you'll see them at your campsite again, I took care of that."

"Thank you, Mickey, once again."

Robin turned around to properly thank Mickey but he was already gone.

He looked around in confusion but ignored it, these magical people always had an air of mystery to them, just like his Regina.

He smiled animatedly at the thought of seeing her again.

"Come on son, let's go!"

"We're coming Gina!"

"I'm coming Regina," he whispered.

The Rabbit Hole,

Regina was at the bar, taking shot after shot of vodka and was about to get a glass of martini.

The Merry Men were keeping an eye on her from a distance, ready to defend her should anything happen.

Already three guys have approached her and she turned all of them down, she couldn't help that she had to wear a tight fitting leather dress tonight. She knew that the Merry Men were there to protect her so it would be okay to be show her more wild side.

Thank God Henry or the Charmimgs did not know of her other activities, imagine the amount of cookies and flowers that Snow would send to her house and the amount of Charming dinners she would have to sit through.

Her thoughts flashed back to how even when she was up against the queens of darkness, the Merry Men had her back. It made her rethink about having them more in her life.

She downed the rest of her martini and then she heard the pub door open. Immediately, stillness fell upon the bar.

The music stopped, the chatter stopped, even the bartender stopped shaking the cocktail he was making.

Regina turned around to see what was going on and the sight that greeted her made her drop her martini glass.

Robin was beaming his widest grin at her, Roland was holding his hand, shaking in excitement.

"Regina..." He breathed.

"What the actual fuck?!" She yelled.

Robin's face immediately fell, he walked towards Regina slowly.

"Regina it's me, Robin. I'm back."

She stepped back,

"No...no, this is not real, you're not real, you left me at the town line, one year ago," her voice began to shake and crack.

"But I'm here now my love! I'm back for you!"

She chuckled darkly and shook her head, "This must be some kind of a fucking joke." Her face had disbelief written all over it.

Robin tried to close the distance between them but she grabbed her clutch and ran out the back.

"Regina, Regina wait!" Called Robin.

Robin told Roland to stay with the Merry Men and went after Regina.

Regina stood outside the back alley.

"I'm hallucinating, I'm seeing things, I'm seeing things." Regina repeated this like a mantra.

"Regina," said Robin.

"STOP IT! YOU'RE NOT REAL!" She yelled.

"But it's me, it's really me!"

"No, no it's not, it's the alcohol, and the pills."

"Alcohol? Pills?" Robin asked, worry lacing his voice.

She reached into her clutch and grabbed her cigarettes. She swiftly lit her lighter and began smoking.

"REGINA!"

She stuck the cigarette into her mouth and took deep puffs, exhaling white smoke.

Robin had seen enough and stormed towards her.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" she yelled whilst tears streamed down her face.

She continued smoking, taking deep breaths and trying to calm herself down.

"Regina what have you been doing?"

She held up her palm to signal to him to wait as she exhaled, "Moving on,"

"Do you even eat properly?!"

Robin just noticed how thin Regina had become.

"Go back to your fucking wife,"

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"So what if I am? You won't be around to see it anyway."

"I'M HERE NOW YOU DUMB WOMAN, I LOVE YOU."

"AND I'M A FUCKING VILLAIN AND VILLAINS DO NOT GET HAPPY ENDINGS!"

She threw her cigarette on the ground and used her boot to extinguish it.

"Don't bother coming to me if you're leaving anyway."

"You can't do that, that was not my fault."

"I know it's not hunky dory, but just leave me be. I don't think I can be okay again. I don't think I can see you just walk out of my life again."

She put her leather jacket on and walked off into the night.

Robin knew, he had to make things right.

He ran back into the bar and told Roland to stay with the Merry Men and that he would catch up with them soon.

Meanwhile,

Regina knew that going home was not an option, so she went to her vault, where she kept some wine and pills lying around when she didn't want to be bothered.

She descended down the stairs into the vault and poured a glass of wine for herself.

She knew that fate was playing a cruel trick on her, that Robin would leave as soon as he came, she would never get her happy ending.

She opened a bottle of pills and popped them into her mouth as she heard heavy footfall descending down the stairs.

"I knew you wouldn't go home,"

"Fuck off,"

"What's the matter with you, Regina?"

"You, you're the matter, now please leave me alone."

"Never, not again,"

"Well look what fucking happened last time,"

"You need to stop cursing so much,"

"And you're not my cruel bitchy mother,"

When she was under the light of her vault, did he really get a good look at her, the circles under her eyes were too dark to cover, how much weight she had lost and the layers of bandages on her wrist.

"What...what happened?" He asked nervously pointing to her wrist.

"Cut myself, nothing much."

"Accident?"

"Maybe," she shrugged.  
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She popped another pill in her mouth and Robin quickly took the bottle out of her hands.

"What the fuck?"

"You're not okay,"

"Thank you captain of the very obvious now if you would go back to your wife and point out the rest of many obvious things in this cursed world to her."

"She's passed on,"

Regina paused, and replied softly,

"I'm sorry,"

"Don't be, I'm back here with you now, she knew my heart was with you, she would be happy."

"Except that you're going to go once I get all happy and attached."

"I'm not, I swear, I'm yours."

"Don't make promises you can't keep,"

She pulled out another cigarette and smoked.

"Now I see why Cruella liked these things,"

Robin walked over to her and pulled out the cigarette and kissed her.

At first, she didn't respond, then something fired up in her to kiss him back.

Once they parted for air, Robin looked at her in the eyes.

"Regina, I'm back, and I'm going to help you. You're going to be okay."

She laughed mirthlessly and then fresh tears sprung to her eyes.

"I can't be saved, not anymore."

She walked to her vault stairs and sat down and cried her lungs out.

Robin's heart broke and he rushed to Regina's side.

"Of course you can, it's not too late. I'm so sorry for leaving."

"It's not your fault. I'm the sorry one. You had to see me in such a mess." She said through sniffs.

Robin pulled Regina closer and this time, she was too tired to fight his embrace, to fight against her insecurities and inhibitions and she leant into his embrace.

In no time at all, Regina had fallen asleep in his arms and he lifted her light frame and carried her home delicately.

He thread lightly on the very familiar path back to her mansion.

He found her keys in her clutch and carried her up to her bedroom.

By the time he brought her up, she had waken up.

"What...?"

Robin immediately rushed to her side,

"Get some rest m'lady. I'll be here."

"Okay, I kinda need a shower first, do you mind waiting for me outside?"

"I promise, I'm not leaving. Not ever again."

She sent him a light smile and went to take a shower.

Robin went down to survey the mansion to find the cabinets stocked with all sorts of alcohol and her coffee table had cigarettes and ash trays. Her kitchen was barren with some leftover pancake batter and a few bags of ready-made salads.

He frowned worriedly and made a reminder to talk to her about this in the morning.

He knew that this was what he did to her, and the guilt of that settled heavily on him.

He walked back upstairs to her bedroom to wait for her to finish her shower.

Knowing that Robin was downstairs, Regina quickly popped a few pills and then went to take a shower.

Later that night, the two of them laid side by side, no sex, just basking in each other's presence. Reveling in the scent of each other.

As Robin nuzzled Regina's neck and laid his arm protectively across her slender waist, Regina knew she wasn't okay, but she would be.

**Reviews are greatly appreciated**. **I do have a second chapter idea in my mind but only if this is popular enough. Thanks for reading!**

**PS: Did you see me insert my own theory into the story? ;-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey,**

**So it's been a while since i updated this fic but thanks to your faves and follows and reviews i have decided to post the sequel to it. **

**It's kind of spontaneous and last minute so pardon the mistakes.**

**This story was inspired by the movie, Wild actually, I haven't watched it but the trailer looks brilliant enough. It might seem similar to life is a highway but i've tried to make it as different as possible. **

**Still typing on notes ahaha.**

I'm coming, chapter 2:

The next morning, Regina woke up, feeling revitalized since forever. She was confused but her hazy mind was defogged when she felt the warmth of two strong arms embracing her slender waist.

She shifted ever so slightly to face the man whose face made her smile a smile so bright, it could light up an entire street. Noting that he was still asleep, she snaked her way out of his embrace, being mindful not to wake Robin.

Eventually, after a bit of squirming and maneuvering, she managed to slip out of bed, he did stir for a bit which made her freeze, but he continued to stay in slumber mode.

She breathed a sigh of relief and slinked towards her bathroom and locked the door.

She laughed at the irony that while her soulmate was back, she still needed her pills. It had become a integral part of her otherwise mundane routine to pop a few pills to start her day. She made a conscientious effort to avoid going to the kitchen for a can of beer.

Instead, she dressed up and went to the supermarket to get some groceries to distract herself.

Meanwhile,

Robin had gotten up shortly after Regina had left the bed, at first he smiled, expecting to see her beautiful face smiling back at him, the morning rays only accentuating her flawless features. However he was greeted with quite the opposite, an empty and cold spot where Regina laid. He frowned as he mind was frantically trying to crawl out of his state of grogginess to find Regina.

He quite literally hopped out of bed and nearly dashed down the steps but the smell of pancakes and eggs stopped him in his hasty tracks.

He padded down the steps slowly and smiled at the sight that greeted him, Regina, back facing him, in the kitchen, preparing breakfast.

He crept up slowly and subtly behind her and snaked his arms around her waist, noting how she tensed ever so slightly but melted into his embrace.

"Robin, you shouldn't have scared me like that. I didn't even hear you come down the stairs. I could've fucking slapped you."

"Hey, beautiful queens like you shouldn't have to cuss in every sentence."

"Right, you're going to be the swear detector now."

"Mhmm…" he mumbled as he brushed his lips up her neck and near her ear where he planted a kiss.

"Robin…" she moaned, man, he knew how to make her shiver.

He turned her around abruptly and wanted to kiss her until her wrist brushed against the hot pan of bacon.

But what startled him was her indifference to what should have burned her and she leaned in, wanting to deepen the kiss.

He gently pushed her away before anything serious could happen.

Her gentle features creased into a frown. "What? What is it?"

"Your wrist…it brushed against the hot pan yet you didn't even flinch."

Regina sighed and slid her hands down from his broad shoulders to grab his palms.

"Robin, sweetheart, I…," she cleared her throat in apprehension and continued,

"I had to, uh, deal with some things, while you were gone, it meant that no one but Henry had 100% faith in me, some things, you learn to take, and some things, I had to face on my own. You don't need to know how dark I was. You shouldn't have to know."

"But Regina…"

"Ah, shh shh," she silenced him by tip toeing and sealing his mouth with a kiss.

She handed him a mug and forced him to sit down and wait for her to finish cooking breakfast.

He knew she was trying to avoid the pressing topic, but he wouldn't let her go that easily.

She slid a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him a gave him a wide grin before putting down her own plate of noticeably lesser food. She got a plate stacked with pancakes and their pot of steaming coffee before finally eating.

They talked, about what he missed in Storybrooke and what she missed while he was in New York. The way he talked about everyday appliances with such fascination made her laugh so hard she choked on her coffee a few times.

"So there I was, in front of this humongous and monstrous building called The Empire State building, needing to deliver some package to the seventy-third floor and I was wondering how many steps I had to climb before getting there until the building's guard escorted me to a thing called an elevator!"

Regina laughed at how Robin said an elevator like it was the most amazing thing he had seen in the world.

"That's not the best part, the best was that it went up so quickly that my ears popped!"

"That's because of the air pressure Robin, the air at a high altitude has a very low pressure, air from when you were on the ground level can't escape so it gets pushed out through this tube in your ear causing it to make that 'popping' noise."

"I love it when you talk intellectual with me m'lady."

"Oh please, I get this stuff off a Google search engine,"

"What's a search engine?"

'Maybe another day, right now, I need to wash the dishes and pack the groceries that I bought this morning."

"Let me help," said Robin and he stood up and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Oh no don't worry, I've got it…"

Robin was already in the kitchen unpacking some of the groceries she bought and was appalled at the amount of liquor in her cabinets. He knew she had a drinking problem currently but he didn't think it was that serious.

"Regina, why do you have so much liquor?"

Regina shifted uncomfortably where she stood and faced the ground.

"I drink to forget," she replied simply.

"This is all my fault…" he said.

Regina rushed to him and quickly took his shoulders,

"No, you listen to me, Robin Hood, this is not your fault, this is my own mess, and I will beat this, now that you're back, I don't need all these to help me cope. This is not your fault, circumstances weren't in either of our favors, you had no choice."

"But I could've…"

"No buts, not could'ves, should'ves, what matters is that you're here now. Okay?"

He pulled her thin frame into his juxtaposing bigger frame, needing the feel of her body on his, like how two jigsaw puzzles fit together.

After they finished packing the groceries, Regina decided it was high time for a visit to the Charmings and to Henry, who she hadn't seen in a few months.

"Why'd you distance yourself from your own son?" asked Robin.

The pair were walking down to the Charmings' place and they were getting a lot of curious glances thrown their way.

"Great, now I just look like a harlot or a home wrecker." mumbled Regina purposefully ignoring his previous question.

He brought her closer to him and beamed at her,

"Let them look, the only thing I see is you."

She laughed and he kissed as if to prove to everyone that he was proud of their relationship and the stares were immediately changed to smiles.

Regina heard whispers of, "at least she's happy," to "finally, something to keep her from wrecking the town."

Both of them ascended the steps to the Charmings' place and she took a deep breathe.

"Are you ready for this m'lady?"

Regina nodded and made a noise of affirmation before Robin knocked gently on the door and grabbed her hand.

She looked up at Robin and smiled, she still couldn't believe how lucky she had gotten.

"I'm coming!" Regina heard the ever cheery optimistic voice of her step daughter boom through the door.

Regina was so lost in Robin's eyes that she didn't even hear Mary Margaret open the door.

"Oh!" Mary Margaret gasped in shock at seeing her step mother for the first time in about three months and with Robin by her side, that only made her even more astonished.

"Regina!…and Robin! Haven't seen the both of you in a while!"

"No need to sound so enthusiastic Snow, yes, Robin is back in town."

"Well, welcome back Robin!"

She opened her arms and Robin stepped in to give her a friendly hug.

"Glad to see you back,"

"Glad to be back."

Mary Margaret stepped aside to let the pair in and closed the door softly behind her.

"So, I have a lot to catch up on,"

"Indeed, but where are the other two idiots and Henry."

"Well, it's family day at school, the two idiots followed Henry to school for some sports activities, they'll be back any minute now."

"Oh…" said Regina dejectedly, realizing how much she missed out on her son's life in her absence.

"Oh no Regina, it wasn't that he didn't want to ask you, he actually considered asking you, even went up to your house, but you didn't respond."

"No, no I know, I was a mess, if it's anyone's fault it's mine,"

"Regina, this is no one's fault." said Robin and he put his arm around her.

"Robin's right, Regina, you didn't know how to cope, no one could really blame you. After going through so much and still standing, no matter what happened in the few months of your absence, you're still here."

"Yeah but barely," she muttered.

Mary Margaret was about to ask her about her statement until the door opening.

"We're home!" Charming called out.

Mary Margaret got up and went to greet her husband. Regina and Robin stood up and nearly burst out laughing at Emma, David and Henry's faces.

"Must you always make an entrance at everything Charming?"

"Uh, Regina!…and Robin!"

Regina rolled her eyes and replied, "I see why you got married to my daughter, both of you like to point out the obvious."

"Now now m'lady, play nice." said Robin and he pecked her on the cheek.

"How…?" asked Charming.

"Dinner, at my place, tonight, I'll explain everything."

"I think you mean our place Regina."

She turned around and beamed at him,

"Yes, our place."

Charming stepped forward and gave Robin a hug.

Emma still stood there with her jaw hanging.

"Earth to Swan, earth to Swan? called Regina.

"Right, I was just getting lost with the fact that a line that supposedly can't be crossed has just been crossed. Welcome back Robin."

She gave him a friendly hug and turned to Henry.

"Henry, go say hi to your mum."

"Hey Robin, I'm glad you're back." he said and Robin gave him a hug.

"I'll be in my room if anyone needs me," he said, completely ignoring Regina.

He half stormed, half dashed to his room and slammed the door.

'Uhm," said Regina.

"I'll go talk to him, I'm sure he's just overwhelmed." said Emma gently patting Regina's back.

She nodded lightly and Emma went to Henry's room.

"Wow, uhm, I just came to ask you all over for dinner, Henry can come if he wants to. See you all tonight then." said Regina, desperately trying to hold back tears.

She quickly walked out of the loft before any tears could fall.

"I'll go check on her," assured Robin.

And he practically dashed out of the loft. Leaving Snow and Charming staring at each other.

Regina managed to poof herself home before Robin could get to her, she ran into her bathroom and popped her anti-depression pills. She then darted to the kitchen where she downed some alcohol.

She was disposing of the beer can when Robin walked in the front door, panting.

"Regina." he said sternly.

"I only had one!" she yelled in defense.

"and one will turn to two, will turn to three and soon you'll lose control!"

"I'm not a fucking addict, you don't know me! You've been gone for a year!"

"Don't you dare use that against me, don't you dare."

"Then don't act like you know me, you don't know a fucking thing about me."

"Quite the contrary, I've seen quite enough to know more about you, you have a drinking problem, you smoke and you have hurt yourself intentionally on more than one occasion."

Regina internally breathed a sigh of relief that Robin didn't realize that she was still popping pills.

"So what , you know that I'm fucked up, that's all you know."

"Then show me, who you are, the strong Regina, the one that laughs and my world comes to life, the one whose smile illuminates my world, the beautiful Regina I know that's inside."

"Well," said Regina as she grabbed her coat, "she's gone," and she left her house and engulfed herself in clouds of purple smoke to go to her vault.

Robin sighed in defeat and sat down on the couch deciding that they both needed space.

Meanwhile,

Regina was in her vault crying, "damn pills," she told herself.

It wasn't that she didn't want to get better, she did, but what's so good about picking up the pieces after the pieces are the only things you know after so long?

She dug around her vault and found some of her organic cigarettes. She ignited a flame in her hand and swiftly lit the cigarette.

She took deep breaths in and out and smoked about three sticks before turning to the pills in one of her cabinets.

As she lit one more cigarette, she unconsciously burned the bud onto her healing wrist.

"Oops," she said as she continued smoking.

A few hours later,

Robin was getting worried when she hadn't returned but his qualms were quelled when she came through the door.

He got up and she walked over and embraced him,

"I'm sorry for my behavior, I'm such a mess and you shouldn't have to be the one to deal with me, I'm so sorry."

Robin cupped her face and stared straight at her, feeling as if his eyes could pierce through her soul and rip out the truth about what she did, she looked away.

As if that was a tell tale sign, Robin said,

"Regina, what did you do?"

She sighed and looked at the ground.

"I might've had a few, uhm, cigarettes."

"How many is a few?"

"Probably, like four?"

He looked at her square in the eyes,

"Regina, why are you doing this to yourself?"

"Please, I don't want to talk about this now, let's just get dinner ready and we'll talk about it later, please?"

"Okay, but later, no more running, you have to promise me."

She kissed him and replied, "promise."

Both of them went into the kitchen and got busy with dinner, all the while with Robin glancing down at her fresh burn mark on her wrist.

At night,

Regina and Robin showered (separately) and got dressed up properly.

Just as Robin finished setting the table, the door bell rang.

"I'll get it!" called Regina from her room as she was fastening her earrings.

Robin couldn't help but let his gaze linger on his queen, she was in a stunning deep blue body con dress with pearl accessories to match. Simple, but that's what made her so stunning, as compared to what she wore in the Enchanted Forest, those layers of makeup, tight corsets, big dresses and equally bigger hair only hid what beauty she really had, not that she wasn't beautiful enough while in her Evil Queen clothes but sometimes, her simplicity was what showed him the real her.

"Stop staring sweetie," she called out before she opened the front door.

Robin chuckled and called back, "you can't expect my eyes to be denied of such a stunning sight."

She laughed and opened the door.

"Regina!" greeted Mary Margaret.

"Hello Snow, and idiots. Oh! Henry!"

Frankly speaking, Regina was genuinely but pleasantly surprised that Henry had come, after all, his love was the one of the most precious things to her.

She stepped aside and let them in. Henry was trying his best not to sulk, but his neutral face wasn't doing much good either.

The six of them settled down at the dining table and Regina put the two pints of rocky road ice cream that Mary Margaret brought in the freezer.

They settled into comfortable conversation, all the while Henry remaining silent and eating. Regina was trying her best to spark a conversation with him, only to be met with dead ends and single word answers. Robin had told them about th magical man named Mickey, and how his vast knowledge of their lives.

"Doesn't that sound like the author Henry?" asked Emma.

"Mhmm," was his reply as he continued eating.

Robin continued to entertain them with his modern world fascinations and the conversation was light until desert time.

While the six of them were watching a movie with Henry quietly working on something on his laptop, Regina snuck to the bathroom but that didn't escape the sharp eyes of David, who knew something was up and followed her.

Regina, unaware that David was tailing her, left the bathroom door open and popped some pills, and pulled out the flask of whiskey she managed sneak in.

"So, this is what you've been up to…"

Regina dropped her bottle of pills in shock and turned around to face David.

"Uh, I've been prescribed with these, by uh, doctor Hopper." she tried lamely.

"Try again,"

"Uh,"

"If you were really prescribed these pills, you wouldn't have to sneak away to take them."

Regina sighed and put the flask of whisky down.

"What's that?" he asked pointing to the flask of whiskey.

"Whiskey," she said in defeat.

David decided to approach her in a rational and calm manner to not scare her off.

"Does Robin know?"

"The drinking, smoking and the occasional self harm yes, not the pills."

"Do you know how dangerous it is to mix pills and alcohol?"

"Since when did you get a degree in medical studies?"

"I'm serious, Regina, it's life threatening."

"You can't tell Robin, please."

She was literally begging him at this point, so David hesitantly complied.

"Okay, but on one condition,"

"Name it,"

"You get better, you fight this, and I won't tell him."

"I'm trying, I really am."

"Try harder,"

"I just, ARGH!"

Regina smashed her hand into the mirror and broke it, luckily, David had shut the door behind him.

"Regina you're bleeding!"

"Oh." she said nonchalantly.

The cabinet behind the mirror had broken to reveal the bottles and bottles of pills that Regina had been hiding.

She quickly used her magic to clear the mess and fix the mirror, but she didn't bother with her bleeding hand.

"Regina you forgot your hand…"

"Right, doesn't matter."

"No it does," said David.

She pulled out the first aid kit from the top cabinet and cleaned herself up.

"That's a lot of pills Regina."

"Yeah, I know,"

Regina started sobbing and David panicked.

"Okay Regina, hey, shh, shh, it's okay."

"Don't lie to me, it's not okay, my own son won't even talk to me."

"Just…give him some time, he'll come around. Just calm down first alright?"

Both of them exited the bathroom and sat next to each other on her bed.

"I need out," she said once the sobs had turned to minor hiccups.

"You need what?"

"I'm going to go on a hike tomorrow,"

"Uh, with Robin?"

"No, myself, just a short one in the woods, its where I can clear my head. You know what, actually, I'll leave tonight."

"You mean like, now?"

"Now's a good time,"

She shrouded herself in purple clouds and changed into hiking clothes, a simple flannel with a light tank inside, kaki shorts and brown hiking boots.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to tell the rest?"

"Tell them i'll be okay, that I'll be back."

Regina grabbed some supplies and stuffed them into a hiking bag in her closet.

David got up and gave Regina a hug,

"Happy trail show and good luck."

"After all these years, I'm happy that we're okay now."

"Me too, I believe in you Regina, you'll be okay."

"I hope so," she said after they separated from the embrace.

She sat down and wrote a letter to Robin and Henry.

She handed the paper to David and asked him to give it to each of them respectively.

Then, she waved to him and vanished in a cloud of purple.

David shook his head and walked out of the bedroom.

At the start of the forest,

Regina looked up at the sky, as dark as treacle with the stars aligned seemingly into a path that she should follow.

She took a deep breath and trekked into the woods.

Back at Regina's house,

David walked back out into the living room to see a flustered Robin approach him.

"Regina's missing!"

"I know, and I know where she went. I think you should sit down for this."

9.30 pm,

Regina had been walking aimlessly up the hill, not knowing where she was or where she was going, she just knew that, something in her head kept telling her that she had to keep going.

She was using a sturdy branch to help her scale the hill she was on, she heard the owls, she heard the crickets, she heard the sound of the wind blowing by occasionally, ruffling her hair, and in the sky, she saw the faces of Henry, Robin and her dad.

Once she reached the peak of the hill that overlooked Storybrooke, she leaned against a tree and slid down to the ground, she outstretched her legs and stared at the light brown boots.

She looked up at the sky again, and saw the face of Daniel.

"I miss you my love, I miss you everyday." she whispered to the sky.

Back at the house,

Emma, Mary Margaret and David had left the house, leaving Henry and Robin alone, with Regina's notes in their hands.

After reading his note, Henry had started tearing up and had to put a hand over his mouth.

"Dearest Henry,

I'm sorry, first of all, that I couldn't be there, for you, for a year, to me, it felt like I was gone for a week, to you, it must've felt like an eternity. I was selfish, and I was lost, and you were my only light in my darkest days, yet, I pushed you away, thinking that you shouldn't have to see me lose myself. In many ways, I did lose myself, because when I pushed you away, I lost a part of myself. Snow told me that you came to look for me couple of times, and I didn't ignore you, countless of times I wanted to open the door and embrace you, but I didn't, I was a coward, and I'm sorry. I failed you as a mother. But, I'm determined to do all it takes to win you over, it's okay if you never forgive me, I'm learning to forgive myself too, as long as you love me, I'll be okay, because that's all that matters. Even in my darkest days, I would stare at your picture, and I would fall in love again, thank you, my little prince.

Love, mum."

"Dearest Robin,

I'm sorry, first of all, that I'm such a difficult woman to love, ever since you've come back, I've been nothing but trouble and a mess, and I'm a hot mess I'll give you that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I'm leaving, it was more of an impromptu thing, on the spot decision. I'm going to find myself, when you left, you took a part of my soul with you and never forget that that part will always be with you, you saved me, so many times, remember when you talked me out of taking the sleeping potion, remember when you helped me keep my heart, remember when you helped me win back my heart? Yeah, you've saved me so many times, thank you, Robin, always remember that I love you and when you look at me with that smile, the one reserved for me, I feel unworthy of your love, I'm on a journey, a mini expedition if you will, to find myself. When I do, I'll be back home, in your arms, and I will fall in love with you over and over again as I always have. Thank you, my one and only soulmate.

Love, your one and only lady."

10.30 pm in the woods,

Regina woke up with a stiff neck, the sky had gotten progressively darker and she sighed. She decided the pull out her pen and notebook and lit a fire with some branches and wrote a letter to Daniel.

"Dearest Daniel,

My sweet sweet love, how is it like up in the clouds? In the paradise we were supposed to be in, together, I hope the Gods in the sky have been good to you, because you're a good man, and you deserve that. I have, this guilt, about, falling in love again, I found a man, named Robin, he's a complete gentleman, he knows me, inside and out, and that's new ground for me, I'm usually so reserved aren't I? It's funny, how one person can change you, just through the power of emotion, and that's weakness, that's what my mum said anyway. I just wanted to let you know that I miss you, everyday, and you've never left my thoughts, you'll always be my first love, and you'll always hold a special place in my heart, and I hope that you're okay and we'll see each other again one day, and I hope it won't be awkward now that I've moved on. Maybe it was written in stars, maybe you could ask them for me.

Love, Regina."

She ignited a flame in her palms and burned the letter to the sky. She wasn't a mushy person, but one of the reasons that she was acting as she was was because the queens of darkness reminded her of who she was, the evil queen, and some nights, Daniel would plague her sleep, and she would be caught between waking and slumber, with his face haunting her.

As the burning paper turned into a char of nothingness, Regina felt her guilt and her sadness burn away along with the paper. She looked down at her wrist and undid the bandage that was concealing the cuts beneath, she open her wrist to the sky and said,

"I free myself, of my sadness, my bitterness, and my anger."

She repeated it like a mantra until some golden dust started shimmering down on her palms.

"Tink,"

"Regina,"

"How are you?"

"Good, now that I see what you're actually doing."

"You thought I was going to kill myself?" Regina laughed.

"Yeah well, can you really blame me?"

"I'm glad you're finally helping yourself Regina, you deserve happiness."

"Well, you've been trying to help me since day one, so if there's anyone who deserves happiness it's you Tink. I've been such a horrid person to you, and..."

"Ahh, shh, sweetie, that was in the past, no need to emphasize on it, I've forgiven you, so learn to forgive yourself, alright?"

Regina nodded and Tink vanished in a shower of golden dust. Regina was more than glad to see Tink have her abilities back.

She decided to trek deeper into the woods and see what she could find, so she dusted the dust off her shorts and continued walking.

Back at the Mills residence,

"She loves you very much Henry,"

"I know, that's why I'm feeling so guilty, I should never have given her the cold shoulder."

"Quite frankly young man, I'm glad you did."

Henry looked at him, muddled, "you are?"

"Yes, it snapped her back to her senses, Henry, if there's anyone she would die for, it would be you."

"and you, Robin, she loves you very much too."

"I know, I know." he answered with a smile.

A comfortable silence elapsed between them.

"Do you mind if i spend the night here?" asked Henry.

"Son, you don't even have to ask."

"Thanks dad," Henry answered and gave him a hug.

In that moment, Robin smiled the widest smile he ever did in a long time.

12 am, in the woods,

Regina had hiked for quite a while now, until she saw a campsite in the distance, and decided to approach it warily.

Recognizing some of them, she approached with much more confidence.

"Isn't it a bit too late for you boys to be up?"

The Merry Men turned around and were shocked to see Regina.

"Lady Mills! What brings you here at this odd timing?" queried Little John

"Regina is fine, I'm on a hike actually, mind if I join you all?"

"Make yourself comfy,"

Just as Regina settled on a log, she her a unmistakeable voice scream, "Gina!"

Roland came scrambling out of a tent and ran towards Regina.

"Careful boy!" yelled Will Scarlet.

Will Scarlet scrambled out of the tent in pursuit of Roland.

"Roland, sweetie, what are you doing up so late?"

"I was about to sleep when I heard you voice Gina!"

"Its your voice, sweetheart, not you voice."

He scrunched his nose in confusion similar to when Regina explained to Robin what a toaster does and she laughed.

"Uh, Regina,"

"Will," she greeted.

"Look, that night was,"

"A mistake, and I wasn't thinking, agreed?"

"Yeah,"

"Then that's all it is, no need to bring it up,"

"Agreed,"

So she sat with the Merry Men and they talked, she thanked them for taking care of her, and apologized for being such a mess as she rocked Roland to sleep.

Then later, Little John and her decided to go for a walk, where they talked about silly things, not conversations that held deep meaning, more of pointless conversations but enjoyable nonetheless. Now she understood why he was Robin's best friend.

"Remember when you started singing when you got drunk? You even dragged Friar to go up and sing with you, that was the night we all decided that he should never lead the campfire sessions anymore."

Regina roared with laughter and doubled over, "I remember, very explicitly in fact."

The laughter eventually eased into a comfortable silence.

'Say," Regina started, "do you ever get tired? Of living out here?"

"To you, this might feel like uncharted territory, but to us, it feels like home."

"Right, what I meant was, do you ever get sick of living?"

"Only once every two minutes or so Regina,"

"So what makes you carry on?"

"I guess its the search of a better life, the Merry Men haven't exactly got it easy for them, but we're called the Merry Men for a reason, we're always merry, we've got each others backs, and we're always searching for that light at the end of the tunnel. We all started out as individuals, as thick as thieves, quite literally, but we found home, in each other. Some people travel the world to find home, for others, home is within people. I carry on because my friends carry on, as long as we've got each other, no matter how far we are, things do get better, it doesn't always stay static, we wouldn't be living if we didn't have any problems now would we?"

"Do you ever, regret, anything?"

"Never, there's never been a fork in my road."

Just then, a wolf appeared,

"Hey look, its that wolf that appears here every now and then," said Little John.

He approached it and began petting it,

"Ruby?" asked Regina.

The wolf howled in response.

"It has a name?"

"It, is a person," replied Regina.

"Like a wolf girl?"

"Yeah,"

Ruby beckoned Regina and Little John to follow her and she ran off into the distance.

"Better keep up John!" Regina called as she chased Ruby.

"On your six!"

And so Regina was running after Ruby, with Little John tailing her, laughter ringing loudly into the night, the adrenaline of freedom coursing through her veins.

That was what Little John meant, to live for moments like these, to run free with the wind in your hair, laughing so hard and running so fast the only thing slowing you down was the world.

Ruby had brought the pair to the peak, even higher than where Regina was earlier and howled to the full and glowing moon.

Regina smiled and screamed as loudly as she could into the distance and Little John followed.

Regina felt all her frustrations dissipate with each scream, as if the her bitterness and vexations were eluding into the distance with each scream.

"This is what I live for," said Little John.

and Regina nodded, finally understanding.

The next day,

The Merry Men walked her back to her home and bid their farewells, with Roland clutching her hand, she opened the door.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

"Daddy!? Henry?!"

As if on cue, the two of them rushed down the stairs to greet them, Henry nearly tumbling Regina over.

"Whoa, hey there,"

'I'm sorry mum, so so sorry,"

"It's okay sweetheart, I understand."

"But you didn't…"

"Ah ah ah, shh, no buts, you helped me realize what I was doing wrong, I should be the one apologizing to you."

Robin was hugging Roland,

"Hey there my Roland, how were the Merry Men, did they take care of you?"

"Yeahs! They let me sleep past bedtime on some nights, Regina came last night, she played hide and seek with me and she read me a bed time story in a funny voice and she even sang."

"Hey Roland, you're not supposed to tell anyone I sang, it was an exclusive concert remember?"

"Oops," he said covering his mouth.

"That's okay sweetheart, why don't you go play with Henry and his Legos for a while, I have to talk to your daddy."

Roland nodded and flashed his dimply smile at them before going up to play with Henry.

"M'lady sings," said Robin in awe.

"She does," she replied as a matter-of-factly.

"So what happens now?" he asked.

"We clean up," she replied with a smile.

Robin smiled and lifted her off her feet, she laughed till her tummy ached and he spun around the room with the only woman that mattered to him in his arms. He set her down gently and kissed her senseless.

"I love you, Regina Mills. I'm never letting you go again."

"I love you too, Robin Hood. Don't you dare."

She proceeded to throw out all her pill bottles and any remnants of alcohol, she also threw out all her cigarettes.

"From that day, Regina never smoked another cigarette, drank only when it was appropriate and learnt to forgive herself, it wasn't easy, but with the love and support of her family, she stayed clean. Robin was so proud of her as he was by her side at every part of her recovery.

Eventually, Robin and Regina got married and the ceremony was held at the peak where Ruby brought Little John and her that night. Going to Granny's was a much more enjoyable experience as she always flashed a smile to Ruby and she would leave a tip for her.

Two years after they got married, they had a baby girl, and named her Stella, after the stars that showed Regina Mills the way home.

And they lived happily ever after, who said villains don't get happy endings?" -Mickey.

Fin.

**Reviews make me blush, also, ONE MORE WEEK!**


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